Things I Say Out Loud…. version 3.1

Dammit.

Only 5 days have passed, and the Story has Changed already.  Not just part of it- but ALL of it.  Everything that Hippi said to me 5 short days ago has a different answer for the same question.  Suddenly, he’s not touchin’ it with a 10-ft. pole.  Nevermind the fact that I sound like a broken record about the fact that “I’M REPAIRING THE CLUTCH ON MY TRUCK, I JUST NEED AN EXTRA SET OF MUSCLES TO DROP THE TRANNY OUT AND LIFT IT BACK IN PLACE AFTER….!”

Doesn’t matter that I rebuilt my first engine back in the late 70’s, when I was 16…Broken Truck 006

Nor does it matter that I was a MillWright for a major timber company in the Pacific NorthWest in the mid- 90’s, for 4 years….

Still doesn’t mean shit that I learned what the Boys’ problem was with the first clutch repair job I ever did on my Mitsu, back in ’95….

(NONE of ‘em believed “a Gyrl could do It”- even After I did it!!  In order to drop & re-install the tranny, I was forced to call a GyrlFriend EACH time, to get the job done!  I told each of the fella’s that wanted to “do it for me” cuz I was his Friend, that I’d “give a shout if I get to a place where I need help.  But how hard can it be?  I have a book with pictures & step-by-step instructions in it!!”)

I just can’t wrap my head around what exactly their problem could be with me, a ‘Gyrl’ (this is always said with a sneering type tone), workin’ on her own tranny…

“No spare parts, and it started right up”, BOTH times I did major automotive work myself!!

In fact, the very heart of the reason why I was able to even embark on these projects without any fear or intimidation is that my own brothers required it of me.  Afterall, I did grow up in the carport, where my first words were, “Fetch me a beer, Samm”, “Grab me that wrench,” and, “Hold this!”  Is it any wonder that I’d grow up to be the world’s best Apprentice-Gyrl-Wrench-Monkee??

Not forgetting the “3 Greasy[i] Rules” of Mechanicking that my Brothers drilled into my head:

  1. “Let No Man Touch Your Ride.”                              (I do almost all my own work)
  2. “Let No Man Touch Your Tools.”                            (it’s easier if you just engrave deep heart shapes into all your tools, then spray paint them with hot pink marking paint.  It discourages your tools from accidentally ending up in another fella’s tool bags or box.)
  3. “Let No Man Borrow, Nor Drive, Your Ride.”       (Not even my horse did I loan.  You just hafta make certain that you never get into a position where you might need to borrow a vehicle some day.)

 ….And All Will Be Well With The Universe….

Hate to say it fellas, but the 3 Laws of Mechanicking have NEVER failed me yet.  And how could any man doubt the expertise of the men that handed down these commandments to me, I ask you?

Granted, Hippi was volunteered for the job by several people, when I asked around for someone to give me a hand ‘dropping’ the tranny.  Bein’ that I try to never ASS*u*ME on anyone, I asked him straight up to his face, and re-addressed the question several times during the ‘talking phase’ to be sure he was still willing.  But now… tools & materials have been gathered; the part ordered, purchased & delivered; partial bartered payment made to Hippi, in Advance

So this mornin’, I had to make special arrangements to borrow a car to pick him up to begin the steps to make me a Free & Independent Gyrl again, and he immediately back-peddled on everything he said & agreed to, less than a week ago.  Even threw in a handful of excuses and “I told you so’s”, to throw me off balance, I guess.  He even went so far as to Volunteer someone else for a job that I wasn’t even askin’ to be done—“No!  for the thousandth time, I’m REPAIRING THE SLAVE CYLINDER MYSELF– NOTHING’S CHANGED!  I JUST * NEED * HELP * DROPPIN’ * THE * TRANNY!!”[ii]

“Are all you guys Ducking deaf?!?!?”  I scream inside my head….

 Broken Truck 001

 slave cylinder belongs inside the truck, not on it!!


[i] Not to be confused with the “Golden” ones….

[ii] And re-installing it of course.  Especially since gravity will be working against me during this final phase of the project.

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The Groovi-est, Purple-Beaded, Ever-Laughin', Dukk-Lovin', Barefoot, Dirt-Farmin', Hippi Chikki that you'll ever have the Sublime Pleasure to get to know!

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Posted in BEFORE The Fall....
6 comments on “Things I Say Out Loud…. version 3.1
  1. chrissyfaery36 says:

    Violet, you go girl!! Show those men how it’s done!! 🙂 Wish I lived closer, I’d give you a hand and maybe you could teach me a thing or two! 🙂 xx

    Like

    • appreciate all my Gyrlz that ‘liked’ this rant…. keeps me from grabbing handfuls of hair and yanking abruptly…. (jury’s still out on WHO’s hair i’d be yanking, however…).

      FaeriGyrl~ I know YOU would if’n you could and we’d have a Groovi Time doin’ it too!

      Some of my Best Memories are the hours i spent lyin’ on a piece of cardboard in the mud with my Daughter, teachin’ her those same ‘3 Greasy Rules’ i’ve come to cherish so… /:-[

      just needed to scream hysterically for a minute betwixt a few Friends and the Wall, is all….
      i thank the Gylrz that are there for me!

      Like

  2. chrissyfaery36 says:

    Aw, they sound like lovely memories! I wish my mum could have shown me the way around an engine!! 🙂 *hugs* Getting things off your chest is good 🙂 Did you manage to get your truck fixed yet? xx

    Like

    • you….have….got….to…..be….kidding…..me….
      i’ve been told- “tranny weighs about 300 pounds”
      this Gyrl weighs maybe 130 pounds after i’ve fallen in the duck pond (AGAIN!!)
      ….also currently crippled by ‘tennis-elbow’ in my wrenching-arm….
      without extra volunteer muscles (goes without saying, the lack of cash as well!)…. i’m pretty much grounded from Flight….

      maybe it’s time i start ‘taking Prisoners’?!?!?

      * * Violet puts on her ‘pouty-face’ as she stares at the pebbles that she kicks with her not-broken foot, and says, “i guess my fantasy of moving to the Kabin on the Isle is more smoke on the Wind now….”

      Like

  3. chrissyfaery36 says:

    😦 *hugs* Taking prisoners is definitely an option! Teehee! Maybe you could post online and see if there’s any sweet people out there, who’d be willing to volunteer to give you a hand for free..or maybe do a trade and give them a hand with something they need doing too, in exchange? Never give up on your dream though *hugs* xxx

    Like

    • i used to pay cash when i had an income….
      ive ALWAYS been a practitioner of barter…..
      ive currently resigned my efforts to writing my ad for craigslist for ‘mail-order-bride”, trying to list what my divorce lawyer decided i could keep, as my ‘dowry’ for prospective fiance’s….
      (a Gyrl’s gotta do what a Gyrl’s gotta do….)

      Like

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