Two New Words

You turned your Cruel gaze toward me

– raising one corner of your grin into a Frightening sneer foretelling of future Anguish in Your mind –

and taught me two, very large, Soul-Eating,  new words last year:

Sociopathic Narcissist.

Thank You.

my life is changed forever now, for that education.

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Posted in BEFORE The Fall....
15 comments on “Two New Words
  1. Tela says:

    I loved this post! I read it twice and thought ‘yep, THANK YOU’ to my Narcissistic Sociopath destroyer of everything good in my life. And now I’m learning two new words GOOD BYE 🙂

    Like

  2. Teela Hart says:

    I’ve learned a lot since I’ve been here….. with my abuser for 19 years before I escaped. I made a post about gaslighting “What the Hell is Trust?” Is there a particular post you want me to read? Give me the title and I can search it. In the meantime I’ll just keep reading.

    Like

  3. Teela Hart says:

    The only thing a Socio does is serve self, with cruel/evil intentions. To suck the life outta you until you die or leave………..

    Liked by 1 person

    • impossible for me to leave, unless i walk, with what i carry in my hands…. thru the woods to the pavement. and then where do i go? this is one reason why ‘women don’t leave’. i have 11 Animal Companions/ dependents…. and if i told you why, you would not ask me to leave them behind, like everyone else has. this is another reason why ‘women don’t leave’. i’ve got a whole college-ruled page, single-spaced, both front and back, of more reasons why this woman in particular is afraid to leave….

      Like

      • Teela Hart says:

        it’s true, i know, I left with my clothes in a bag, the kids, and my broken down jeep. i wouldn’t have if he hadn’t attacked my daughter. i’m so sorry you are going through all of this, i wish i could reach through the screen and grab you…and hug the shit outta ya

        Like

      • i left my physically abusive husband 4 years ago and live each day to regret it, cuz this is just the latest in a series of predators that apparently come in more shapes and sizes than i ever imagined. the lawyer i paid cash in advance after i stayed with him an additional 5 years, so that i could earn the money so that I DID NOT HAFTA BE LIKE THE ‘OTHER WOMEN’ running in the night…. the same female attorney that was referred to me by our local domestic violence advocates that i did fundraisers for so that we could have a women’s shelter to be shared by 3 counties…. that attorney is the one that made me regret leaving my husband, first, in a line of many. (at least i could outrun him on our 8 acre farm and had 18 outbuildings to hide when i needed sleep. if only i had just waited it out, instead. and its the coward in me that makes me hide in the dark right now…

        Like

      • Teela Hart says:

        ok, i think i’m gettin the pic now…. wow…….this is a clusterfucked situation…………you have nowhere to keep yur babies ’til u can get settled?

        Like

      • sadly- my Babies ARE in that place i thought was safe…. but they won’t be safe if i leave.

        Like

    • is it the P.A. or the S.P. that says by costume, mask & makeup when alone with their victim saying so much more and all to the contrary, that on a rare beautiful sunny warm day, i’m hiding in the windowless shed in the dark with my hungry animals becuz she lurks looking for another game of words to beat me back in my place…. i was lured here with promises, then changes the words, the rules, the stakes, the outcome. prevents me from the income, food, a free home that’s been offered….. with the silent hide the key game while the car sits idle in the driveway. only one tiny example of how me & my dependents are punished. the crippled Veteran walked to the top of the hill to give me a message….. i lost the opportunity becuz i decided there is no game if i refuse to be an unwilling caged rat anymore. so now i doubt myself and feel guilt that i didnt allow myself to be belittle, degrade, shamed, and further lied to and about my willing imprisonment…. fukk. no longer able to tell up from down, even with working flight instrumentation on the dash and a cloudless day past my prop….

      Like

      • Teela Hart says:

        “becuz i decided there is no game if i refuse to be her unwilling caged rat anymore. so now i doubt myself and feel guilt that i am to blame for the lost opportunity ”

        do not feel guilty for not playin the game……..playin’ the game is the thing that bleeds you dry……devoid of care for shit…i can hear the strength in your words, the longer yur stuck on the guilt train the harder it is to get off
        you gotta make a plan, a strategy. does she hit you or anything like that?

        Liked by 1 person

      • no- pretty sure that’s what the “passive-aggressive” label means right? there are other ways to rape people that are unable to escape where they don’t want to even be… that was the original theme for today’s rant (my only form of rebellion against such things has been my blog of recent….) there are no bars- but i am held captive.
        there are no bruises but the damage is deeper.
        only my ankle is broken- but i can’t get away…. o there’s so much more.

        Like

      • Teela Hart says:

        i know the invisible bars all too well, i’m out but still there on some levels…….it’s a misery no one deserves……..ever…emotional/psychological healing is painfully slower if ever completely able heal……the scars can be crippling.

        Like

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