people keep asking me to ‘rescue’ this lovable ‘fur-ball’ or that adorable ‘feather-head’….
not ONCE does it dawn on them that they speak to a cold, broken, lonely, desperate, hungry, homeless, victim of domestic violence…. that already feeds, loves and shelters 11 Animal Companions with nothing, cuz she has adopted them after they too were thrown along the curb nearby where she was thrown over, for a more “willing” victim- by the very friends & family that she once Loved, Trusted & Forgave. they (her Companions) eat first from what she begs for herself, and if anything remains after they’ve fallen asleep, then she feels free to eat….. if anything is left.
they are for the most part, the only life forms on this planet that will directly acknowledge that she still exists….
it just kills me inside, that i was once where you are now….. and you have absolutely no idea how fast it can all be taken away, until you’re standing next to me, discarded on the side of the road, wondering what the hell just happened?!?! I thought I made the “right” choice…. everyone said I was “so brave”.
i don’t understand the ‘guilt’ or whatever else it may be, that my fellow man experiences, that makes them unable to look at me NOW…. i maintain my appearance, I’m sensitive to my having a ‘fresh odor’, clean teeth, brushed hair and my hygiene and manners remain intact, along with my 50 years of ethics, values and morals…. all that’s changed is my marital status, my address, my income and my ability to stock my cardboard box pantry, under that tree over there…. I’m the SAME person- why can’t the people i once called ‘Friend’ look me in the eye, now, or notice me at the store?
every morning I’m forced to tell my reflection in the mud puddle (where i check my hair!) that “it’s not my fault.” and that “I’m safe, and he can’t hurt me now.” but my friend in the mud puddle doesn’t seem so convinced…..
I AM SO VERY SORRY!! I JUST REALIZED WHERE I AM…. PLEASE FORGIVE ME- I KNOW YOU DON’T WANT TO BE BURDENED WITH THE SIGHT OF THE ‘LIKES’ OF ME IN YOUR TIDY LITTLE WORLD. I MEANT TO WRITE THIS ON MY BLOG…..
the place where no one tells me, “move along, now!” becuz “This place you don’t belong…… !”
I’ll go away now, so you’re not made to feel uncomfortable by just ‘knowing’ that I’m near…..
*accidentally posted this on my face account before I realized– it was too late…. o dear. won’t be able to go back there for light-hearted “liking” anymore…. *