…They will come.
And there’s the Lie.
Wasn’t that what we were always taught-
“The Best Way To A Man’s Heart….”
So much for Old Wives and what they say….
On more than a dozen occasions –Easy- I have made ‘Public Announcements’ to all those in the Ravine (and, well basically, everyone I know on My Island, cuz they always say how hungry for ‘Home Cooking’ they are!) that I am throwing together a big meal or baking –again!– and would love to have some company to share it.
I even ” ‘rang The Bell’. Repeatedly. You know- my big Supper Bell. The one people say can be heard a mile up the Ravine. I’ve even been told that some have been able to set their clocks by my Supper Bell (now, I find that terribly hilarious, and even a bit flattering!)
Yesterday, I made 5 pies, becuz everyone was telling me how they ‘didn’t get enough’ pumpkin pie the other night. An “Abandon Hope” pie (apples & Asian pears from the ‘abandoned’ orchard up the hill, and very Special apples from our very own Hope Island! Why does no one here get the fact that my humour is always ironic or twisted, in some way?!?!?), an apple/ peach, two reg. pumpkins, and one for the birthday boy- pumpkin in a chocolate graham crust –as requested!) 5 pies. Five pies. One, two, three, four and Five Pies.
And I didn’t stop there. Oh no. Have you met me? Girl with 10 Brother’s? Who exactly did you think did all the cooking, anyway? Certainly wasn’t either ‘Parental Unit’, as they Both worked extra shifts just to make ends meet! The Point is that I only know how to ‘cook for an army’, to begin with. So when I’m actually expecting ‘an army’, things can get a little out of hand!
So I also made-
- baked acorn squash, with the Last of my wild rice and the chanterelles that I dried from last month;
- fresh veggie & Asian noodle stir fry;
- baked 4-1/2 pound Coho, caught fresh by my very own hands today!
Have you ever heard of a self-professed ‘hungry’ person that was too lazy to eat?! In fact, I’ve apparently stumbled across a pandemic of hungry people whose spoon arms suffer from rigor mortis!
Hey ‘hungry’ person- pass me that fork- so I can eat this fresh, home-cooked meal, prepared especially with You, for you too!!
I seriously don’t understand why I’m not married or at least have a BoyFriend…. I am so freakin’ skilled, it’s scary (and an outright WASTE of a Good Woman!)
What the hell am I gonna do with all this food?!?!
Hey—you want some pumpkin pie?