NONE OF THIS MATTERS, So, here it is….

Dear Government:

So here it is- the Final Moment, where “the tune has come to me, at last.”     ~Led Zeppelin

I tried very hard- gave it more than my best at this fourth?! and final attempt, to play a bureaucratic game of musical papers to weed out the frauds & deceivers….. oh this ‘need’ I understand- its use logical and economically sound, at one time, but the rules, if there ever really were any, keep changing when it appears they ever might be understood.

I have indeed been quite the sporting competitor, as much as I could, but without the alleged ‘Help’ that was promised and never found- this is the best that I can do on my own.

First and last, you should never promise that which is not yours to give, nor that which you never had. Every document ever received by me from you, PROMISED help with your papers if I needed them. I did. And I called every number, spoke to every name, but all vaguely knew of this rumoured helping person- not their name or number, mind you- but only adding further life to ancient rumours and more assurance to me with any certainty that it was not them. And before hanging up on my incompleteness of required forms, gave me yet another name and number in a series, that after two months of physical pain, anguish, sleeplessness, inability to eat, nightmares, panic, anxiety, despair, unnecessary cause for fragility- torment & torture that are not yours to give in the quest for my qualification to a caste of societies’ cast-offs…. This is all I have to offer on my own desperate behalf.

NEVER, have I been unwilling– I have been physically, mentally and emotionally UNABLE to fill in the lines that the rules require “not to be left blank”….. this is what is called one of my personal DISABILITIES that is your job to discern & assess. Which should have been self-explanatory all along by my desperate need to find the never-existent paper-helping-person, whose job it should have been to know that on that wasted 2-1/2 hour appointment almost two months past now, all the proper words could’ve been already in place on their proper lines, as required by you. Instead, I was given one Belle Hinkle, government representative that not only REFUSED the help I was promised, but could only be bothered with collecting employment history that she could not even effectively document even remotely accurate enough, that I had to make yet another call to correct no less than half of the data that was documented WRONG! And, even more special, is that 20 more pages have been added to my torment of required papers and proper placement of alphabetic characters concerning, of all things- EMPLOYMENT HISTORY.


2 months ago, it was & could have been so simple for all involved if One person in that very precious and now lost Moment, to ask the questions, listen to my answers, and write the proper words on said forms. Done.   Neat. Time-effective. And efficient. And did I mention- Done?

The following is a summation of the questions asked, but in the only way I can answer. Included are the notes I tried to draft, like a word search, where I thought I could select out the proper words to fit in the tiny lines provided. I was not up to the challenge- tho my attempts were endless. Though NONE OF THIS MATTERS, because on 21 January, 2015, Belle Hinkle had already judged me as “not taking my paperwork seriously enough, so my disabilities is not SERIOUS ENOUGH either.” Thus began a 2-month-long undeserved & completely unnecessary panic attack, which I am now done with.   Thank you for that special experience.

In my history, I was raised 2nd to youngest amongst 10 wild and beastly boys. There was a woman there, but I had no Mother.   I was raised, by them, as a Boy.   I was raised to believe that there was NOTHING that I could not do. Over the last 40 years, I learned that there were 6 things that I needed to do in my life that were completely beyond me: electricity, peeing my name in cursive in the snow, knitting, cooking dried beans, fuel injected mechanics and hot-wiring a car. Make that 7…. I cannot ride a motorcycle. Everything else that I wanted to, needed to or was asked to do in my life, I excelled at. This life led me to “chase the money” in The Trades.

From the SSI man, Tom B. (it was also written that if I needed help I could call him!) I received no answers other than apologies, another name and number, but he kindly sent me a listing of the jobs, the government already possessed and could answer themselves almost every single question that was asked of me. As upon reading thru those pages I found that I could not remember even half of those most recent jobs I had had- yet ANOTHER OF MY DISABILITIES.   I never said that I didn’t do them as documented incorrectly by Belle Hinkle- I said I had no memory of them, and therefore could not answer the questions in regard to them- not that I would not!

….to be continued, writing it this very moment….

….to be continued, writing it this very moment….


The Groovi-est, Purple-Beaded, Ever-Laughin', Dukk-Lovin', Barefoot, Dirt-Farmin', Hippi Chikki that you'll ever have the Sublime Pleasure to get to know!

Posted in Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

Follow DukkSheit Happens………. on

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 163 other followers

Composted DukkSheit….
Cloaking Device Failure...
  • 3,360 crashes into my T.A.R.D.I.S.
I Am Free To Date On…..
March 2015
« Jan   Aug »
Strangers I Follow….
Other Weirdos Like Me!
Please Help Feed the Duxx Fund
A snap a day

One person's 365 photography project completed but still sharing


A daily selection of the best content published on WordPress, collected for you by humans who love to read.

Survival Sherpa

Helping each other on the climb to self-reliance and preparedness...the Survival Sherpa way...One step at a time.

Chris Martin Writes

Sowing seeds for the Kingdom

A Kiss of Death

Beauty. Lifestyle. Illnesses. ...and Ultimately Me...

The Lavender Letters

Deepest thoughts retold from dreams

The Green Fairy

She tempts

Under The Banyan Tree

A Wandering Soul Who Found Her Home

The Story Of A Guy

A Journey Through The Eyes Of A Guy

Retreat, Refresh, & Reflect

A Place to Relax and Renew with Julie Ann Monzi

Meredith's Reveries

Think, read, write

Blessed Be Garden's Blog

Welcome to Blessed Be Garden, the Entrance to your Journey


Magickal Arts

Words Read and Written

Ramblings of an aspiring author & book blogger


A great site


"Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a personality disorder in which a person is excessively preoccupied with personal adequacy, power, prestige and vanity, mentally unable to see the destructive damage they are causing to themselves and to others in the process."

Eclectic odds n sods

Parenting, Pet Tales, Humour & Photography

Holding together the jello

The adventures of a single dad

Purple's Platitudes

nothing but words ...

Hopeful Circus

A topnotch site

toofulltowrite (I've started so I'll finish)


scarredgirl13's Blog

The life and words of a girl fighting depression and difficult times

Labeled Disabled

The journey of a woman moving beyond labels and disabilities to embrace her true essence and path.

Dancing in the Isles of Life

Navigating the Seas of Motherhood


A purely selfish blog intended only to improve the author's writing skills!

Marie A Marvel

On a magnetic mission to liberate

The Flannel Files

Rae Theodore's BUTCH blog about living in the middle of girl/boy

Wise, older woman is the most powerful brand females come in.

Northwest Red Head

An occasionally crafty, supposed grown up, plant killing dachshund wrangler living in the pacific northwest




Abuse,narcissism,survival,there is hope,poetry,art,photography

bunny slippers

complete nonesense

Indie Hero

Brian Marggraf, Author of Dream Brother: A Novel, Independent publishing advocate, New York City dweller


My journey - The good, bad and the ugly

Teela Hart

Surviving Domestic Violence


...finding Gods truths in random places.

The Neighborhood

The Story within the Story

Diane Tibert

~ writer - editor - publisher ~

making it up as i go

amy begun saab ~life as i see it. a Vermonter deeply entrenched in Alabama i plant flowers.

vic briggs

A writer adrift

Lydia Devadason

An Idiot's Guide to Parenting

%d bloggers like this: